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Do Age Gap Relationships Work?

Leonardo DiCaprio’s romantic partner choices have hit the headlines yet again. Whilst Maya Jama poses seductively for yet another perfect selfie, DiCaprio admits coyly that they have had a few dates. With a twenty-year age gap between them, could this be another young and beautiful woman added to his beauty chorus lineup of years gone by? He has dated many famous, more youthful beauties, including Gigi Hadid. Encore the consensual exclamation, ‘How does he do it?’

The Media Has a Duty To Its Supporters 

 It’s the media’s job to punt the stories that sell. All in support of advertisers, of course. DiCaprio’s romantic life with various beautiful women is exciting news. Exciting news sells pages, and pages bring in money. 

The Elevation of Youth is a Conundrum 

Let’s get this off the table. Society will lift up and elevate younger women; it serves society because younger women are more fertile, have the energy to care for a family, which is handy, and do it whilst looking really hot, or so they have us believe!

 This does not mean that every older man would prefer a younger female. Before proceeding with the benefits of having a younger partner, this is important. The younger woman will also feel the pressure of growing older due to society’s elevation. Being twenty years old could be envied by a woman approaching thirty if they have bought into this complicated premise, for example. 

It is partly a myth that all men prefer younger women. In fact, people are hardwired into liking a particular person; some prefer people their age, and some prefer older; this is important. 

Why Do Younger People Date Older People? 

Whether you are an older woman or an older man, it might surprise you that someone younger might find you very attractive. There are many reasons behind this; one of the biggest ones is they fell in love with you. Regarding passion, the adage, age is but a number, is accurate. 

Age-Gap Relationships Are Hardly New

Age-gap relationships have been around since the beginning of time. In the story of Boaz and Ruth in the Bible, Boaz was 40 years older than Ruth. George Clooney and Almal have a 17-year age gap, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Kirk Douglas have a 25-year age gap, the list is endless, and these relationships are thriving even amongst the Hollywood crowd, which is no mean feat. 

Mean comments might surround a younger woman marrying a more affluent man, calling her names like gold-digger. This falls away if they are matched financially, and many are. The thing is, we all enter relationships that nurture us, feed us and give us what we need, and so we should. Many women of all ages want to know they can rely on their guy.

The Marriage Wreckers Fable – True or False?

Then there is the old cliche that older men leave their devoted wives of years to seek out a younger woman. These women have been called marriage wreckers, sometimes true but not consistently. Men and women are more likely to stray when more partners are available. Today, women are available and can be found more efficiently than ever via various dating apps. However, the relationship could have been worked on for a partner to stray or the partner has issues. No one can wreck a sturdy connection. 

The Truth

The backstory of this, which is more important, is that many older women who have sacrificed their time and energy for their husbands and family want more time to do the things they love in old age. If their spouse is not on board, they might feel like ending the relationship is the only way out. The idea of washing dirty underwear and grocery shopping is hardly thrilling! Misogynistic media often likes to paint the old crone left on the shelf for a gregarious younger, hotter model. 

Older Males Hitting the Dating Scene

This leaves many older men single and having to go back into the dating scene. Then, of course, there are the infamous midlife crises, where an older man feels his lost youth while his wife goes through menopause. This can lead an older man to seek the adventure of being with someone younger. At this point, he could feel he might be cheating the inevitable, which is getting old and dying. Or he could relate more to the younger woman, and younger women have much to offer an older guy.

Is it ever Negative When Older Men Date Younger Women? 

Of course. Every type of relationship can become tricky at times; it’s not only older men and younger women that can hit bad times, but here are some pointers when this type of dating is more negative than positive. There are positives and negatives in everything, and there are also solutions to keep age-gap relationships on track. 

The Negatives

These negatives might have nothing to do with your current relationship, but if you are shopping for a younger partner, note some possible but not guaranteed issues that could come into play.

The Younger Female Has a Father Complex 

The phrase’ daddy complex’ has become part of popular culture, and its beginnings are found in Freudian theory. Freud posited that issues can occur with the opposite-sex parent during the complex psychosexual development of young adults. The theory is controversial today, but it can explain many developmental problems younger women have when seeking out an older guy simply because he can care for her. 

She will engage with him in the same way she engages with her father. However negative that was. This could lead to a toxic relationship, primarily negative for both parties. Then there is the current media hype that many younger women want a free meal ticket and want to focus on themselves more, and the older man can fund these desires. Some women prefer to be cared for and have neither of these issues. 

Energy Levels 

When first finding one another, the zing of romance is high, and it can often swell or dampen the underlying issues that could lay ahead. Depression can occur in these types of relationships for various reasons. The older person might become depressed because they do not have the same energy levels as their younger partner and feel enormous guilt and inadequacies. The younger women might want children, and the older person cannot physically or financially deliver. 

Losing Your Younger Partner to a Younger Person 

Younger people tend to gravitate towards each other, just as older people can enjoy solace in each other, so losing a more youthful female partner is a genuine concern over time. Research has shown that this can be a real catalyst if they do not match in libido. If two people are committed to the relationship, it can be worked through together, but it relies on a certain level of maturity from both partners. 

Developmental Stages Differences 

Humans go through developmental stages from the moment they are born, and of course, even before, but this becomes important in age-gap relationships. Whilst an older man might slow down due to health concerns, their partner might be planning to start a family and build a career. 

End of Life Realities 

If life goes according to plan, the older partner is more likely to pass away first, which can be frightening for a younger partner. This type of thing can be overcome by the older person making provisions for the younger person, but the amount of money required for this could be substantial depending on their age. Ensuring your younger partner stays engaged with life and has adequate education to care for themselves should anything happen to you is the best route, but nothing can take away the pain of love if the partner truly loves you. 

The Positives 

There is obviously a larger pool when looking for a younger woman. Younger women are more open to dating older men, and there are fewer social constraints than in the past. 

The Energy 

Younger women have more energy; they are not yet at the stage the older woman is in, where she is fed up with looking after people. A younger woman is more willing to support step-children and has the energy to deal with life’s complex influences. She has, after all, her whole life ahead of her. 

The Adventure 

The focus is on ‘more likely’. A younger woman is more likely to want to board an RV and travel the world. She’ll drag the 7 kids you’ve adopted along the way and the 12 cats you both felt sorry for on the road. Younger women have the time to make mistakes and change their minds. What is not to like about that? 

Energetic Sex 

Younger women generally have a higher energy level in bed. They may need more experience, but they will certainly open up new exercise regimes you never knew existed if that is what you want. Plus, they are often more beautiful to older partners, need that be said? 

Now To The Important Part 

The Survival Guide. 


People coming in from different life experiences and expectations moving forward need to communicate. Perhaps a baby is not on the cards for the elderly gent or older women for their own reasons that can be, at times, obvious. However, some still go ahead, and some females will even adopt a child if their partner is younger than her. Women are staying fertile longer and longer, so it is not a given that this is off the table. Planning together and aligning your goals, as with any relationship, will keep your relationship solid. 

Maturity Level 

Many women love the wisdom an older man brings, and the same goes for men wanting a more senior partner, but both must have the same emotional and intellectual maturity level IQ. If not, irritation will set in, and the more mature partner can feel as if they have adopted a parenting role in the relationship, which can be exhausting. Also, do not assume that a younger woman will be more immature; many younger women are more mature than older women. 

Control and Boundaries 

It might be easier to feel like you can control a younger woman simply because she is younger. This is not true. Younger women have their own ideas and boundaries, and you must respect those like in any other relationship. They should be treated as equals in decision-making and in the relationship. To do anything different is to undermine them as human beings. So if you are into ‘control,’ this is another type of relationship we are discussing. 

Financial Issues 

You might be the primary breadwinner in the relationship, but you cannot use the money to control another person; this is known as financial abuse. Instead, enable your partner to give to the relationship in their way and respect that. If you only ever wanted her beauty and energy, this is what she brings to the table, and you should appreciate that. Many age-gap couples are on par financially, and these have better-staying power in most cases. It goes back to clear goals and communication.

Life Stage Issues 

Younger women might want children, and the older partner feels this is a stage of life he has already gone through, so this has to be discussed, and both partners must agree. The older person will have to adjust to younger social circles and newer ways of doing things and update their outlook on life. 

The same rules apply to most relationships here: couples need to communicate. They must also say what they need in a relationship without feeling judged. 

The bottom line is that many people are in age-differential relationships; it’s no longer a big deal. It is all about what is available, your preferences, and your current situation. Some men are indeed habitual serial daters of younger women or even women in general, but this is a complex issue about areas of commitment. All relationships have hurdles and pitfalls, but being loved and finding a partner who adores you is fantastic and has nothing to do with anyone else!